Giving up

I haven't written here in awhile but hey, I'm back!

       Today I was thinking of how exhausted I am. I've been putting hours and hours of work into all my classes and I've been trying my hardest to reverse the way I deal with studies. It kinda drains you know?
       So there I am, thinking how I just want to give up. I want to really just leave everything and go become some sort of nomad. I don't wanna give a fuck anymore. I just dont wanna care. It all seems hopeless anyways with everything else that's goin on.
        But really as I thought about it a little later in the day, that's not how it works. It's not hopeless like that. I honestly have so many choices in life. There are so many others that are stuck in situations that seem more hopeless than mine.
       

Im a girl... And sometimes too much of a fan girl

Every time I see this, my heart races and I cant stop making weird sounds that make no sense. I want this man so so so so so bad. I think we both would make beautiful babies. I also believe that I'm perfect for him with cute, a hidden sexy, a mysterious exoticness and blah blah blah...All i want is this man. This Jakey is so cute. HEs likes the most awesome actor ever and i want him so bad omg omg omg omg i want him so bad. His brilliant acting, seriousness that reaches his eyes, nervousness that makes him jittery and his smile that brings out his sincerity, and of course his luscious hair, sea blue eyes, and his nicely built arms. Not only that, he's got to have a creative streak for being a director. He's dedicated for having started his career so young and simply amazing. i wish i got to meet him atleast once...Itd make my life *sigh*

Ohhhhhh Hipposssssss

     

 Me and my friend got into a fight again. But I knew it was going to happen because she does that. I've never had a friend treat me so cruelly before. If I'm angry, I'm upfront with my friends and we clear it out without much bitching. But she has this thing where she's clear what my weak points are and every time things go sour. Every single time.
       I'm not weak. I'm not sure who she thinks she is but I basically have the power to ruin her life, her relationships, her family, and so much more in ways she can't even think of. But I don't even think about going there. Its not worth it.
       She judges me for taking part in activities that doesn't approve of. But what of her. She's a complete hypocrite. And I'm mad now that she can't stop judging me especially when all I've ever tried to do is be a good emotional support and have cared for her well-being. I will continue to do so until the end of my days
but I'm pissed about her judging me. I'm pissed that she thinks she can judge me when she herself is being a huge hypocrite.
        She wears a literal symbol that ties her to certain promises she's made in her life. Promises she's surely to have broken. Why take a vow to do something when you're not fully committing? In addition this vow has been taken openly so why is putting on a  face for the public and hiding her reality underneath the cover
        She's a big hypocrite. But everyone's a hypocrite in some way or another right? I am I know but I work hard and hope to be rid of that problem.
        My problem with her comes from the frustration that she as a hypocrite thinks she has the right to judge me. She thinks she can judge me for actions that I'm almost completely open about. Most people who know me know what I'm involved in and what I do. Most people who know her have an idea of who she is but don't know what she does.

Does any hypocrite have a right to judge me? I've done no wrong in the present situation. Innocent until proven guilty.

Biased Truths? What an idea.

    It was just the other day when my brother was asking my mother to look over a research paper he'd written. For his school assignment, he was required to have parents look over the paper in order to kind of certify the content? He'd written his paper on the necessity of investment in education for countries like India. He argued that in order to help the country step out of poverty, it was necessary for the government to invest in programs that helped children access easier and better education.
    Funny question and concern my mother had about this. She asked me, 'he's not writing anything bad about India is he?

My concern was, what if he did critique India? Yes it is one thing to have a spirit of nationalism however, the world must know the truths.

A mother cannot protect her son if he is a criminal. A friend cannot cover his friend if they committed violence. A government cannot be forgiven for its corruption. People cannot on any circumstance be forgiven for acts of cruelty.


My mom meant to say that if my brother wrote bad things happening in our country of origin, he shouldn't because its shameful. I completely disagree because every country has their goods and bad. My brother, as a researcher, shouldn't be biased in his findings.

The truth is the truth.

Summers-A-Here

          My dear viewers, I understand that it's been quite the while since I've last written. I'm a college student busy with a double major in Psych and English and a minor in International relations. Not only that, my life is contaminated with the constant appearances of dramatic situations that seem to tangle me in ways so ridiculous.
          Usually, I write these on my thoughts on different subjects that appear in my life but these past months during my school year is an experience that I'd like to share with strangers unknown to me. To share accounts on ones life is something less challenging to with strangers. This is because they are strangers thus there's no fear of being judged.

          So... About this year. Ohmyholy... One of the craziest semesters I've had. EVER!. So many things and and so many new people but together it's been such a blast. I've never had so many feelings I've felt all at once. Even the ending ended with a bam... Its like one of those bam endings to a season of your favorite show.
          It helped me understand that life is too short for us to actually try be persons that people surrounding us want us to be. Morever, I really fell in love with myself this semester. I genuinely like who I am and who my friends are.
           Not only that, for the time ever, I think I may be in a real relationship soon. Its amazing that I've finally reached this place where I may start genuinely liking someone.

It's a revolution every year. A revolution of the self.  To be continued.... ^_^

Legacy of a Friendship

My soul-sistah is a junior 

and she's almost gone. 

I feel from sadness, this heart will drown 

but for her and only her I take this frown 

and make sure it stays upside down.

Distance will increase 

communications decrease

Fear is a disease

It plagues me from peace

But our hearts will remember 

and memories wont be forgotten 

As long as I live 

For her, anything I'll give.